when ya have a podcast goin and ya realize ya havent been listenin for like, fuckin twenty whole ass minutes but ur paying attention now and theyre talking about some new shit and youre confused as all fuck
“Come back come back come back. Come back because I need you so. And you do not need me and why should you come back your life is good and full and why should you come back.” —Martha Gellhorn, Selected Letters
“I tried to love you less. I couldn’t.” —Simone de Beauvoir, The Mandarins
“I’ve got to tell you / how I love you always / I think of it on grey / mornings with death.” —Frank O’Hara, “Morning”
“A great sorrow, and one that I am only beginning to understand: that we don’t get to choose our own hearts. We can’t make ourselves want what’s good for us or what’s good for other people.” —Donna Tartt, The Goldfinch
“And as terrible as this is, I get it. We can’t choose what we want and don’t want and that’s the hard lonely truth. Sometimes we want what we want even if we know it’s going to kill us.” —Donna Tartt, The Goldfinch
“Where would I be without my sorrow, / sorrow of my beloved’s making,” —Louise Glück, “Relic”
“THANK YOU FOR THE TEARS THEY TASTE LIKE HOME” —Anne Carson, “TV Men: Hektor”
“Love? I wanted to go with him, to be on the strong side, for him to spare me, like one who seeks shelter in the arms of the enemy to stay far from his arrows. It was different than love, I was finding out: I wanted him as a thirsty person desires water, without feelings, without even wanting to be happy.” —Clarice Lispector, “Obsession”
“We were the heartbreak of truth. / We were willing to break even more.” —Andrea Gibson, “Close for Comfort”
“Love / isn’t always magic. / Sometimes it’s just melting. / Where it’s black and blue. / Where it hurts the most.” —Andrea Gibson, “Maybe I Need You”
“Feelings like shrapnel half worked out of the wound.” —Susan Sontag, I, etcetera
“what I live for I can seldom believe in / who I love I cannot go to / what I hope is always divided” —W.S. Merwin, “Teachers”
“Either love is… –A shrine… –or else a scar.” —Marina Tsvetaeva, Bride of Ice
“…the labor of love is not letting it / crush you in its collapse.” —Sandra Meek, “Road Scatter”
“my heart / a torn thing” —Anne Carson, “Blended Text”
“Bitter the love by which I’m beaten.” —Euripedes, Hippolytos (tr. Anne Carson)
“You, Beloved, who are all the gardens I have ever gazed at, / longing,” —Rainer Maria Rilke, “You Who Never Arrived” (tr. Stephen Mitchell)
“It’s hurts all over. In the soul. In the God-place. / Spleen and rib. Blood and hearth.” —Tara Hardy, My, My, My, My, My
“You can wet the rim of a glass and run your finger around the rim and it will make a sound. This is what I feel like: this sound of glass. I feel like the word shatter.” —Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid’s Tale
“Names like pain cries, names / like tombstones, names forgotten and reinvented, / names forbidden or overused. Your name like / a song I sing to myself, your name like a box where I keep my love…” —Richard Siken,Crush
“His touch both consoles and devastates me; (…) I go back and back to him to have his fingers strip the tattered skin away and clothe me in his dress of water, this garment that drenches me, its slithering odour, its capacity for drowning.” —Angela Carter, “The Erl-King”
“Love me less, but love me for a long time.” —Christophe Honoré, Les Chansons d’Amour
“…remembering carefully the one she / starts to forget again, the one—didn’t he? — / who must have nearly loved her, must have.” —Allison Seay, To See the Queen
“I look at you and it is like drinking cold water. I look at you and it is like my throat being cut.” —Catherynne M. Valente, Deathless
“And then to want and not to have — to want and want‚ how that wrung the heart, and wrung it again and again!” —Virginia Woolf, To the Lighthouse
“When I desire you / a part of me / is gone.” —Anne Carson, Eros the Bittersweet
“The feelings that hurt most, the emotions that sting most, are those that are absurd: the longing for impossible things, precisely because they are impossible; nostalgia for what never was; the desire for what could have been;” —Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet
“Once again desire has made a ruin of us.” —Carole Maso, Beauty is Convulsive
“You have never understood. You are my treasure, my pale gold, the heart of my heart. You lie at the bottom of my being and gnaw upon my roots.” —Catherynne M. Valente, Deathless
“You alone were my fate, / I would have done anything for you.” —Anna Akhmatova, “Prologue”
“Oh, I often think that I will try to tell you how very dear you are, and how I’m watching for you, but the words won’t come, tho’ the tears will, and I sit down disappointed —” —Emily Dickinson, Selected Letters
“My attachment to you continues, it grows more poignant, more vast, more hopeless with each day—” —Gore Vidal, from a letter to Anaïs Nin
“There is love in holding. And there is love in letting go.” —Elizabeth Berg, The Year of Pleasures
florence welch: probably like 200 BCE celtic queen
keeanu reeves: 1500 renaissance hoe
jeff goldblum: late 1800′s i would guess
harry styles: fairly new immortal, 1970′s
lorde: 1920′s flapper era
hozier: man who even knows, rough estimate is like, 400 BCE
john mulaney: 1930′s/40′s, still bitter about the great depression probably and if he could put it in a bit with out being #exposed he would
paul rudd: newest to the immortal club, didn’t age past the 1990′s
I feel like this list is forgetting Sir Patrick Stewart who I believe has not aged since 7000 BCE.. After all his twin brother was the Kennewick man..
as a self-appointed expert on Hozier, i would say that date is possibly accurate.
many of Hozier’s songs reference being buried in the earth (In a Week, Work Song), and some are directly inspired by bog bodies (Like Real People Do, Run). two of the most famous Irish bog bodies, Old Croghan Man and Clonycavan Man, are dated between 392 and 175 BCE, and both are speculated to have been kings ritually sacrificed to the goddess of the land. in Take Me to Church, Hozier demonstrates a willingness to offer sacrifices to a goddess, and in Foreigner’s God, he thinks fondly upon the image of a pre-Christian Ireland (“when the land was God-less and free”). as well, Old Croghan Man is estimated to have been about 6′6, and Hozier is about 6′5.
the only possible flaw in this theory is that in a Facebook Q&A (here at 5:28), Hozier says that he is over 3000 years old. 400 BCE only puts him at ~2400. it could be that after so many years he’s lost track of how many thousands, but another possibility is that he is more contemporaneous with an older bog body, the Cashel Man, also presumed to be a sacrificed king. that would put him closer to 4000 than 3000, but again, we could forgive an immortal for getting his millenia wrong.
in any case,
it seems likely to me that Hozier is an ancient Irish king who was ritually sacrificed to the old gods, but somehow returned (possibly through intervention by said old gods) to give us music subtly hinting at his experiences.
this hozier addition is frighteningly detailed and I’m here for it
The most hilarious thing about the fact Buckbeak had a trial and lost is that later on JKR resolves the issue by having Hagrid take him in again and renaming him Witherwings. That’s literally all it took. What if in POA, Hagrid simply said, “Sorry, Buckbeak flew away.”
“There’s a hippogriff right there, Hagrid.”
“A different hipprogriff.”
“I’m… pretty sure that’s the same hipprogriff.”
“Prove it.”
no dna tests we die like scientifically underdeveloped societies
Prisoner of Azkaban continues to be the most frustrating book
Someone should have just adopted Sirius and started calling him Gerald.
Remus: Erm… this is our new order member, my… cousin Gerald. Gerald White.
“Mr. Lupin that is Sirius Black with glasses!” “Oh come now Minister, Sirius Black doesn’t wear glasses. That wouldn’t make sense.” “Well have Mr. White take off his glasses then!” “He can’t he needs them to see.”
it got better
It’s honestly a miracle to me that wizarding society doesn’t collapse every other week because like
You’ve got this world full of people who can destroy whole buildings or turn people into beetles or make vehicles fly just by waving a stick at them
And there is literally no common sense
Anywhere to be found
Voldemort would never have had anyone find out he was back if he just went around calling himself Steve
Okay, see, I thought I saved this post to comment on it but I’d like to bring up
The Minister would NEVER EVER disbelieve in Gerald White. He’d buy it hook line and sinker. The wizarding world would buy it hook line and sinker. The GOBLINS wouldn’t but wizards have been shown to be pretty blindingly clueless. Still, Gringotts would grudgingly give Sirius access to the Black fortune.
But, but, but, you know the one person
the one person
who Gerald White would drive AB-SO-LUTELY FUCKING BATSHIT?
Severus Snape.
Snape would do everything, EVERYTHING, to get people to believe that it’s Sirius. But the Order would ignore it (they accepted Sirius as Sirius before anyway) and Remus would just be so… so affronted.
‘Severus, he is my cousin.’
And Sirius would love it. He’d love the fact that Snape just hated it. He’d be the BEST DAMN GERALD WHITE EVER b/c Snape is doing everything from dropping veritaserum into his firewhisky to capturing a dementor in a box and releasing it on Sirius when he least expects it
That one causes problems for a bare minute because SHIT A DEMENTOR ATTEMPTED TO GIVE GERALD THE KISS MAYBE SNAPE IS RIGHT except Harry comes forward and is like ‘excuse me, I’ve never committed a crime and dementors are ALWAYS attacking me, I think they’re attracted to glasses’
and the magical community is like ‘shit, yeah, you’re right’
and just
Spare. Snape goes spare.
Picturing Snape as Mr. Crocker from the Fairly Oddparents now.
Gerald White eventually becomes a fully registered animagus. When he turns into his animagus form right in front of Snape, Snape’s bursting at the seams, just pointing at him and spluttering:
‘HE’S A BIG BLACK DOG! A DOG - THAT IS BLACK. SIRIUS BLACK. BLACK DOG DOG BLACK.’
And Remus calmly says: “That’s absurd, Severus. Sirius Black was never an animagus and besides which, people’s names don’t have any influence over their animagus forms or anything like that. That’s ridiculous.”
And Snape yells: “Shut it WEREWOLF MCWEREWOLF!”
Everyone looks at Remus, who blinks and sighs as Gerald White turns back into his human form.
“Pure coincidence,” Gerald says. “My aunt was into Roman mythology. Has to happen sometimes.” Then he pauses to give Snape an overly concerned look. “Are you alright, Severus? You’re looking a little red.”
^this is my new life
im crying thanks for this
Another point in the direction of Gerald White Not Being Sirius Black is that everyone knows Sirius Black hated Severus Snape.
Gerald White bakes the ungrateful dungeon bat cookies and is always polite to him. It so nice that Gerald really wants to be friends.
